Archive for Asian men

When I am against interracial couples…

Posted in Relationships with tags , , , , , on June 24, 2013 by oneagainstdumb

I know. This is a pretty controversial topic, especially for my second post. But before everyone shouts me down for being an old time racist living in the past, please allow me to explain myself. Let’s start from the beginning.

When I was growing up in the eighties, most of the couples I knew were of the same race. Asian people dated Asians. White people dated Whites. Black people dated Black people, and so on and so on. In fact, the first interracial couple I actually met was my friend’s parents while I was attending the seventh grade. I didn’t know at the time why people stuck to their own race. We had girls of different ethnicities in my class, and I wanted to have sex with all of them (well not every one, but you get the idea). And if you think it is strange for a twelve year old boy to feel sexual desires, then I guess my entire class was odd because we would all talk about it. Then one day I saw a White man with an Asian women. The sight made me happy because I felt that the racial barriers were coming down. People no longer were confining themselves to those of the same race, the way I thought it should be. As the years went by, I saw more interracial couples, specifically White men with Asian women, but didn’t think much of it. Then something peculiar started to happen. I began meeting Asian women who told me they would only date White men. When I turned to online dating, I came across Asian women who would only list “White” as their ideal match. Some even wrote in their profile that they were only attracted to White men and that Asian men need not apply. One even put laughs after making a similar remark as if the statement was a cute little joke.

How did this happen? Well, the portrayal of Asian men in television and movies as dorky, weak, obedient, nerds couldn’t have helped. Don’t even get me started on Ken Jeong’s character “Mr. Chow” in the Hangover whom I find offensive. This is not to say that Asian men should never be characterized as a computer geek. I grew up in Silicon Valley so I know many of them do exist. The problem is that I rarely see Asian men in strong roles (unless they know martial arts). On the opposite end, White men are consistently put on a pedestal. When Goku of Dragonball is played by a White guy, you know something is screwy. Arguments can be made why the studios do this. They need someone of universal appeal. They need to maximize box office returns. Nevertheless, the message is still the same. The White man is desirable, and the Asian man is not. Interestingly enough, in China the White man is consistently portrayed as the bumbling idiot which I also think is wrong.

So when am I against interracial couples? I am against them when someone uses race as a deciding factor on whom they wish to be with. I believe this is a form of racism, but for some reason our society accepts it when it comes to relationships. Am I against all interracial couples? Definitely not. Am I against White men marrying Asian women? As long as they are truly in love, why shouldn’t they be together? In fact, I just wish race was no longer a factor period. One thing I have found in this brief existence of mine is that finding someone to love is very difficult. It may be the hardest thing to achieve for any human being. When we let petty things such as race narrow our field or cloud our judgment, we are doing ourselves such a disservice. For those who specifically seek out members of a particular race (and this applies to same race couples as well) if you end up with a dud, I’ll be there to play you the world’s smallest violin.